Brian and Pam Wheelock


Brian and Pam Wheelock

Brian and Pam Wheelock Marriage & Same Sex Attraction

Brian Wheelock’s journey of leaving his gay identity was incredible and challenging, but Brian truly believes God called him out of that lifestyle and, with Pam, his wife of thirteen years, actively ministers to those who feel they have unwanted Same Sex Attraction. 

Brian and Pam desire to see the church change their ways in how they are treating those who identify as homosexual. Brian often says it wasn’t someone quoting a ‘don’t be gay’ Bible verse that won him over. It was the love and power of Christ and the fellowship and love from other believers that made him realize he truly desired to be set free.  “If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8:36) is the verse Brian & Pam highlight most often when speaking about Brian’s journey of leaving homosexuality.

From Brian:

“Although I identified myself as ‘gay’ for more than 10 years of my life, I was never truly ‘at peace’ or fully happy living that lifestyle. It certainly wasn’t that I chose to live that way - I could have won arguments that this was the way I was born and therefore God must be OK with it. But it didn’t feel that way even with the many male relationships I had, some very serious. There was just something missing and I sometimes suffered from serious depression and suicidal thoughts. While spending a year abroad in England and Ireland, the Lord began to call me out of that life beginning with a ‘vision’ of my wife and children that was captured in my journal (with amazing similarities to my life now).

“As I began to seek the Lord, I could feel His love embracing me though I was aware of my sinfulness. Soon after, I gave my life to the Lord, which began an amazing time of healing and closeness as I started to read the Bible on my own and truly understand why I needed a Savior. The Lord lead me to write out a covenant between He and I in which I would pray daily that my attraction and desire for men be taken away and that it be replaced with love for Jesus. The covenant is truly remarkable. Page after page contains hundreds of my signatures as I would read and pray this covenant, then sign it every morning and night.  After a few years of following Christ, I met and fell in love with my wife to be, Pam. I am in awe of what God did with my life, blessing me with a beautiful wife and three incredible daughters who literally would never have been born if I didn’t yield to the Lord and follow the path He was guiding me to.”

From Pam:

“Brian waited to share his past with me until he was ready to propose, which turned out to be perfect timing. I already knew the man of God he was and nothing could have scared me away from marrying him. Of course, I had questions, but those could wait. Based on our pasts (mine was far from pure as well) we decided to wait on being physical until marriage with the exception of holding hands and kissing on the cheek.

“Our first ‘real’ kiss was the day he proposed and we decided to even give kissing back to God until our wedding day. This led to so much freedom while dating that we love to tell the story to young couples who are struggling with where to “draw the line.” Our marriage is a true miracle from God, filled with the Holy Spirit who frequently uses us to do His good works. Being able to speak about our pasts and letting God heal us as we minister to others is truly His grace at work. “

Brian and Pam love being parents and taking their kids on cross-country road trips in their minivan whenever possible. They often counsel other couples on the secrets to a happy marriage and host a morning talk/reality show about their adventurous life on Local Access Cable in New Jersey and online  (The Brian & Pam Show). They reside with their three daughters and dog, Willow, in Morris County, NJ, where Pam works in advertising  and Brian is a stay-at-home Dad.


Event Reviews


  • Marriage & Overcoming Same Sex Attraction/Homosexuality: 39.65 min

  • Leaving Brian’s Gay Identity: ‘Family Friendly’ Talk with Brian & Pam: 43.97 min




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